Did you ever have a moment when you didn’t realize how awkward you were acting until afterwards? I used to be known for something called “Chris compliments.” For some reason, I would make comments like, “Those shoes are really…red.” You know, instead of saying something that would actually make sense like, “I really like those shoes. I like how bright red they are.” It’s not something I am proud of and I’ve gotten much better at giving compliments since then.
The sad thing is, someone had to actually point this out before I realized it. Thankfully, I have pretty thick skin and so it became a pretty funny inside joke. But in thinking back to that I realized that there are times where we just don’t see what others see.
This could very well be the case with your BASIC group. Chances are, you’ve been doing things certain ways for quite awhile and haven’t really considered changing them. What you might not know is that even though you’ve become accustomed to them and they seem completely normal, to an outsider those things are weird.
Often, we can’t see that these things are weird or awkward on our own. We need an outsider’s perspective to bring it to our attention. In the past I’ve really appreciated when people were up front with me and let me know about times when I was awkward or made people feel uncomfortable. Not only has it made me better at interacting with others, but it’s also helped me to become more self-aware.
There’s a good chance that your ministry could benefit from the perspective of an outsider. Find someone who can give an honest evaluation of your group. Invite them to visit and ask them specific questions after in order to get good feedback. It could be someone from your church or, even better, a random student (unchurched is better) on your campus who has no affiliation to your ministry. You could even promise them a couple bucks once they come and give their feedback.
In the end, you’ll probably learn something that could change your entire group dynamic or at least some tweaks that will make new people feel more welcome. You’ll have to sort through what they say and determine what’s most valuable as there may be things you don’t want to compromise on, but overall it will help make your ministry better. Chances are, just like in my case it will help you to be more self-aware too. Give it a try!