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My favorite part of small group is hearing what God is doing in my friends’ lives.
I grew up in the church, and I’m now in ministry; suffice to say, I have participated in a few small groups. Teen groups, college groups, young adult groups, multi-generational groups, coed groups, guys’ groups, prayer groups, Bible study groups, accountability groups, and general fellowship groups. Yeah, you get the picture.
One would think I’d be an expert; I’m not. Group dynamics are so complex. What makes for a healthy small group? I have some thoughts, but I’m definitely not ready to write the book on it. But I do have something to say.
My favorite part of small group hearing thanksgiving for family, friends, and happenings; hearing stories of answered prayers and opportunities to share the Gospel; and all the many testimonies that end with a “Thank you Jesus!” or a “God is so good.” I like many things about small groups, but that’s my favorite part.
Of course, we’ve all been in that group where nobody talks. “Any testimonies?” asks the leader, and then silence. Awkward silence.
A few thoughts on leading a group and seeing more and more sharing of testimonies and general thanksgiving. There is no magic formula, but these might help.
1. Come with your own testimony, something for which you’re thankful to the Lord.
Lead by example! We all know this: people won’t follow where you’re not willing to go. And if celebrating God’s goodness is as important as we preach (and it is!), then we need to practice what we are preaching!
Enough said.
2. It’s a teaching moment
As you open up a time of sharing, maybe explain Samuel’s Ebenezer (1 Samuel 7:12). Or read part of a Psalm, there are many full of thanksgiving and testimony of God’s goodness (e.g. Psalm 118).
[su_quote cite=”1 Thessalonians 5:18″]In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.[/su_quote]
3. Ask someone to come ready to share.
When I lead, I try to avoid being the first to share. I want to be ready to step in and share after there’s been a pause and no one else is ready (more on that in the next point). But if your group tends to be quiet, maybe ask someone ahead of time to have something ready. This will give others a couple extra minutes to think of something to share, or, at the very least, ensure that you and one other person share!
4. Lastly, a little awkward silence won’t kill anyone.
When I am leading a group, it is so hard to allow a pause. I am super tempted to just constantly jump in and fill every silence. But why!? A bit of an awkward silence isn’t going to kill anyone, and it might be what’s needed to bring group participation to the next level.
(Note: I’m not saying have a gathering full of awkward silences…probably no one will come back! But a couple ten second pauses won’t define your group.)
If your group members are a little hesitant to speak up, then even if they have something to say they likely won’t say it unless there is an obvious space.
After one person shares, leave a pause, and then maybe throw out the invitation again to share, and then leave another pause. Not super long (you don’t want to guilt people into sharing) but long enough that there is obvious opportunity.
(Note #2: the same is true for small group prayer. Don’t feel it necessary to end prayer as soon as there are three empty seconds.)
Changing Culture Takes Time
Your group probably won’t change overnight, but I have seen first hand that putting these simple steps into practice has seen group culture change over time. For one small group I was with, there were some gatherings where after some time in worship, and then open sharing, there wasn’t time left for a Bible study! And this allowed us to switch things up, some weeks spend more time in open sharing and then prayer for one another and other weeks more of a organized Bible study. Pretty much a dream!
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