[vc_row padding_top=”0px” padding_bottom=”0px”][vc_column fade_animation_offset=”45px” width=”1/1″][text_output][su_quote cite=Merriam-Webster Online]The feeling that you understand and share another person’s experiences and emotions. The ability to share someone else’s feelings.[/su_quote]
I tend to be a simple black and white kind of guy. What’s right? Is this logical? Fortunately, I’ve been encouraged and assisted by family, friends, and the Lord to grow in empathy.
Early on in life, my dad gave me a book, How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It’s about better understanding people and learning to communicate and lead more effectively. If you read English and interact with people, I recommend it! (Here’s a video summary I found that seems pretty legit.)
[su_quote cite=”Dale Carnegie”]You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.[/su_quote]
Do you want to influence people for Jesus? Than you need to make friends. Want to make friends? You need to understand those around you. Want to understand others? Cultivate empathy for their situations.
Learning and Communicating
Taking time to better understand and even try to feel what someone else feels itself leads to discoveries about yourself, others, and the Lord.
For example, maybe one’s primary struggle with understanding out salvation is having a difficult time grasping what it means to believe. Over the years, as one grapples with that and learns to trust wholly in Jesus for salvation and not a flawless kind of belief in one’s own heart, that adds depth to understanding. And maybe one’s friend’s struggle has been accepting that Jesus forgives even his hideous sins. As he walks out his faith, hopefully he comes face to face with a mercy that goes beyond anything experienced outside of a relationship with God. As these two friends engage with one another, their understanding of God and this great salvation expands! Empathy helps us learn.
Further, I’ve discovered it’s absolutely crucial to effective communication.
A simple example, if I want to share the Gospel with someone, at some point I will need to convey the truth that they’re a sinner in need of the Savior. But empathy leads us to understand that telling someone they’re a sinner tends to make them defensive. (Shocker, eh!?) Thus, as we grow in empathy, we learn to communicate more effectively.
Now, as I share about sin in the world, I point to obvious world-wide issues, but then focus on my own personal sin. By taking a vulnerable, open, and humble posture, I break down barriers of defensiveness and help the person to whom I’m speaking recognize their own sin. Here’s a quick example of part of a Gospel message:
“All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” The Apostle Paul wrote this to the church at Rome almost a couple thousand years ago. And still today, we can look out at the world around us and quickly see the truth of his statement. Wars; betrayals; broken families; abused children; and, more generally, the use, abuse, and oppression of underprivileged persons throughout the ages and continuing at this time.
But I don’t have to look far to find the truth of Paul’s statement. I’ve sinned. I’ve done things that hurt others and even hurt me. I fall short of the glory of God. No, I haven’t killed anybody. I’ve physically bullied, I’ve spoken cutting words intended to make people insecure and impotent and embarrased, I’ve sexually lusted after others which Jesus said is committing adultery in God’s eyes.
Have you ever blown it like me? Have you sinned? Do you fall short of the glory of God? We all have. But I have good news, Jesus came for each one of us, and whoever calls up on the name of the Lord will be saved!
How to Grow
A book could easily be written on this, but three quick ideas:
- Listen
And then listen some more. As the Good Book says, “Be quick to hear.”
- Find Related Experiences
When someone shares an experience that is laden with emotion, think of a time where you maybe have had a similar emotional experience. (But be aware that no two situations are perfectly parallel, we never know exactly what someone is going through!)
When I read about the Children of Israel wanting to go back to Egypt where there was food and stability even though there was also oppression, it’s hard to identify. But then I think how easy it is for me as an American to respond to shootings and terrorism by desiring the government to conduct warrantless searches, restrict gun control, even censor speech to make America safer. But isn’t that essentially a small version of the Israelites being willing to trade aspects of government oppression for food and safety?
(Again, not a perfect parallel, but exercises like this allow me to better understand what others are feeling.)
Or, from another angle, how difficult is it for us to take steps of faith? What if God called you to go plant a new church, or move to Turkey? Wow, that might fail; that might work out disastrously. It’s easier to stay with the known than to take a step of faith, right? And I think we can all identify with that.
- Pray
Pray for others, pray for yourself, pray for God’s will to be done. Several of the fruits of the Spirit of related to empathy: love, joy, patience, kindness, and gentleness for sure. Our first response should always be prayer!
photo credit: Empathy via photon (license)
[/text_output][/vc_column][/vc_row]