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You may have noticed that men are like an endangered species in your college ministry and church. There’s so few that they’re likely to become extinct. You may not have noticed as much in your church because often men still hold many prominent roles, but in many campus ministries the leadership team is primarily made up of women.
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It’s a trend that has been increasing over time as men seem less and less interested in Christian activities. We’ve seen a nearly 2 to 1 ratio of women to men at BASICcon. Put another way that means that men make up just one third of those who attend our conference. And that number is right in line with what researchers have found when asking how many men attend church weekly.
If we’re honest, we can see that going to a campus ministry or church meeting doesn’t feel very manly. These meetings usually involve singing, sitting around sharing feelings, praying out loud and listening to someone speak about love and the state of our hearts for half an hour. In some ministries if a man can make it out of the service without getting hugged that’s a big win.
David Murrow says, “The women in the church always outshine the men because their natural feminine gifts make them so much better at the spiritual work of today’s church: relating, emoting, nurturing, and offering verbal expression.” Clearly he’s generalizing a little bit here. There are definitely men who excel in those areas and not every church is centered around them, but I think that overall he makes a good point about how we normally do church.
But Jesus started the church by working with 12 men, so we know He considered men an integral part of His plan to save the world. I don’t remember a time in the Bible that He was known for singing or even asked the disciples to pray out loud. Jesus was known for the miracles He performed and stories He shared in sermons. He daily walked with the disciples and modeled how to live a godly life. His process involved action, not simply sitting in a meeting.
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So, how can we do a better job of reaching men in our ministries? I recently finished reading a book about this problem and how to address it. It’s not as simple as just adding a men’s ministry or creating a men’s small group. In fact, studies show those types of programs rarely work.
There’s a number of things you can do to adjust your ministry so men are more comfortable and likely to come back without completely changing the scope of what you do. Start by examining everything you do through the eyes of a man or by talking with some men who come and asking them what aspects of your meeting make them feel most uncomfortable.
Here’s some practical changes you could make/things to avoid:
- Use masculine imagery in advertising – I’m not talking chainsaws and superheroes, but you don’t need to cover your posters with flowers and hearts. We have created some great flyer templates for you to use and should have some new ones coming soon. We’ve come a long way in this area over the last couple years, but we still have some work to do.
- Don’t arrange chairs in a circle – I’ve talked about this before, but most men (and people in general) feel awkward with people across the circle staring at them throughout the meeting. Plus it makes it harder to sneak in and just check out a meeting to see what you’re all about.
- Avoid corporate prayer – Praying out loud is uncomfortable for many people. You don’t have to cut out prayer altogether. Leaders can pray to start the meeting or end worship and if you really want to incorporate group prayer make it overly clear that no one needs to feel pressured to pray (and make sure the one man who’s new isn’t the only one who doesn’t pray).
- Cut down or cut out worship – There aren’t too many places where organized group singing is a normal practice. Keep worship to just a few songs (2-3) or don’t do it at all. Focus on playing more upbeat, fast songs and less introspective, slow songs. Some of the things we sing are just weird like, “From my mother’s womb You have chosen me. Love has called my name. I’ve been born again into your family. Your blood flows through my veins.” You can still hold a worship night outside of your weekly meeting so those who really enjoy worship have a place to participate in longer, more intimate times of worship.
- Use visuals when preaching – Men tend to be more visual than women. Incorporate YouTube videos, pictures or diagrams into your sermons. My pastor uses videos frequently and he often brings a sketchpad on stage to draw diagrams that explain concepts.
- Move around during the meeting – Maybe it’s just me, but I’m not one for sitting around for an hour or more without moving much. I even have a standing desk at work (yeah, I’m one of those). Find a fun game to play at some point in your meeting that involves getting up and moving around. People will laugh and this will create a way for men to connect with others and form friendships while bypassing awkward conversations. You could even consider holding your meeting outside once in awhile when the weather is nice as long as you communicate it well ahead of time.
- Give men something to do – I’ve heard it said that women bond face-to-face while men bond side by side. This is why men gravitate toward activities like playing and watching sports, hunting/fishing, playing videogames, working on cars, doing service projects, etc. I just attended a conference that gave us the task of doing a service project helping a school clean out a room full of books from decades ago. It was fun getting to know some of the men and connecting with them as we did dumpster runs. Offer some opportunities for service projects in the community or on campus.
- Hold male specific social events – Super Bowl parties, kickball games, videogame tournaments, camping trips and other similar activities are great events that men feel like they can invite other male friends to without feeling awkward about it.
Those are just some quick thoughts for you as you plan for the fall semester. I’m sure you can come up with more if you start to look at your ministry through a different perspective. I’m not advocating that you create some kind of overly macho, adrenaline packed, completely male dominated culture. But I see the lack of men in our ministries and I know God wants to see a generation of men and women rising up to impact the world with the Gospel.
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