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There’s been a lot of social media mud slinging going on over the past week. It’s been really heartbreaking to see people on both sides of the issues making calloused, hurtful and insensitive statements. Thankfully, some influential Christian leaders have come forth with thoughtful and loving responses.
As those who work in college ministry we often find ourselves at the very center of these discussions. The campus is the place where progressive ideas are usually debated first and I appreciate that. In light of this, I wanted to share with you some thoughts on how to address hot button issues.
Apologize
Before we dive in, I want to convey that I have not always done the best job at this personally. I’ve found myself expressing frustration and anger in moments like these and sometimes I’ve had to go back and apologize.
These are called hot button issues for a reason. Almost everyone has an opinion on them, and most of the time emotions are running high. By apologizing from the beginning you can keep this from being an emotionally heated debate and instead encourage a conversation where two people can learn from each other.
The first thing to keep in mind is that no one is perfect. Unfortunately, the world has been led to think that many Christians think they are, often by outspoken Christians themselves.
No one has all the answers except God and you’re not Him. Our convictions are based on the belief that we have some answers for sure, but I’ve accepted that there are some things I’ll never know the answer to, and I’m ok with that.
So, whether you need to apologize for things you’ve done or you just need to apologize for the church as a whole doesn’t matter. Just apologize. Say you’re sorry for the way the church has treated homosexuals. Say you’re sorry for the way you’ve acted at times. Say you’re sorry for the Crusades. Say you’re sorry that some Christians have acted like they know everything.
Whatever it is that you apologize for, say you’re sorry and mean it. Humility and repentance will always speak louder than the person shouting from their soapbox.
Don’t Go Crazy
As Christians, too often we’re tempted to declare that the world is coming to an end when legislation passes that we don’t agree with. Like Chicken Little we run around crying out that the sky is falling all because one decision was made or someone voiced an opinion contrary to ours. Chicken Little thought the sky was falling because one acorn landed on her head. Take a deep breath, gather some perspective and remember that whatever issue you’re debating, it’s just one acorn.
Do you remember what happened to Chicken Little at the end of the story? She was able to get many other animals (Henny Penny, Ducky Lucky, Goosey Loosey) to agree with and follow her, but in the end they were all deceived by Foxy Loxy (who came up with these names any way?). He promised to take them to the king, but actually led them straight to his den.
The point is this. If we get distracted by one acorn and cry that the sky is falling we may get a lot of people to agree with and even follow us, but we lose sight of the One who made the sky to begin with. As Christians, we aren’t called to legislate righteousness. We’re called to point people to Jesus.
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I know what some of you are saying right now. But Chris, it’s not just one issue! This one decision will lead to many others that will hurt society!
Yes, it’s true that one decision can lead to many other consequences. I’m not disputing that. But, at the end of the day, Jesus Christ is still on the throne and His church is still the hope of the world. Don’t get frustrated with this fallen world. It is not the promise. My good friend Christopher Hopper did a great job speaking to this last week.
So, don’t let the enemy lead you into the apocalyptic den (which makes you look really crazy to those who don’t know Christ) because you’re blinded by the acorn that hit you on the head. In the words of Admiral Ackbar, “It’s a trap!”
Avoid Blanket Statements
Watch this short video of Pastor Carl Lentz talking about how he addresses the topic of same sex marriage and then I’ll explain.
I don’t know how long ago this video was recorded, but I think the principals he puts forth are very important to how we address hot button issues. Regretfully, I’ve been guilty of making blanket statements in the past that have hurt others. Avoiding blanket statements doesn’t mean that you don’t take a stand for what you believe.
As I thought about making broad statements I realized that Jesus was much more apt to speak directly to an individual than He was to make a blanket statement. He always cared most about the heart and soul of each person He came into contact with (i.e. the woman at the well, the woman caught in adultery, the rich young ruler, etc.). In fact, the time He was more likely to make blanket statements was in speaking to the Pharisees (religious leaders of the day).
As the social media debates have raged on conservatives and Christians have been painted with a broad brush. Apparently everyone thinks that because I support or disagree with certain issues that means that I love FOX News (I don’t), listen to Rush Limbaugh every day (uh, no thanks) and that I constantly walk around with a scowl on my face trying to figure out how I can completely ruin the lives of those who disagree with me.
As a Christian, these statements have been hurtful to me at times. The worst thing I could do is to then turn around and do the same to others. I don’t hold the exact same views as every conservative and just because someone agrees with someone else doesn’t mean they agree for the same reasons. God has created us each unique and we must view each other that way.
Please avoid making blanket statements and instead look to hold conversations. Don’t paint others with a broad brush.
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Ask the Most Important Question
Before you type up that comment, compose that Facebook status or answer the person sitting across the table from you ask yourself the question, “Am I responding in love?” Jesus made it clear that everything we do revolves around love. Love was central to what He said are the two greatest commandments.
Jesus called us to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, love your neighbor as yourself (Luke 10:27).” Love is the most important thing we do and Jesus said that our love will be the thing that distinguishes us (John 13:34-35).
We have not always been a people that is distinguished or characterized by our love and now we’re paying the price for it. Instead we have come to be know as people who constantly judge others. When we judge others it’s because we’re expecting them to live up to a standard they never chose. Why would we expect non-Christians to behave like Christians?
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Carey Nieuwhof is a pastor in Canada where same sex marriage was legalized a decade ago. This post speaking from his experiences over the past ten years hit the nail on the head when he said, “People don’t line up to be judged. But they might line up to be loved.”
If we want to actually reach people and bring them into the church instead of just yelling at them and trying to get them to align with our views (newsflash: that doesn’t work) we must be better at responding in love.
And keep in mind something else Jesus said, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you (Matt. 7:1-2).” Jesus didn’t command us to judge. That’s God’s job. He commanded us to love.
Remember You Have a Head Start
As a campus minister, you have probably been dealing with these issues for years, so remember what you’ve experienced and learned over that time. Don’t get caught up in the mud flinging as I have made the mistake of in the past. Instead, take a deep breath and draw on your years of experience in these conversations.
Instead of viewing these conversations as a necessary evil, realize that you have an opportunity to drive the conversation. As I stated at the beginning of this post, I’m grateful that college campuses are the center for discussion and debate.
A conversation about hot button issues will quickly lead to a discussion of faith. The fact that everyone is discussing different ideas gives us the perfect opportunity to introduce them to the idea of Jesus Christ.
In closing, please remember that there’s no reward in winning an argument, but there is a reward in doing what’s right. Keep in mind that none of us are perfect and our words and actions aren’t what saved us.
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast (Eph. 2:8-9).”
We are all going through life on a journey together and we are all in need of grace.
photo credit: Snooze via photopin (license)
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