Last week, Chris wrote an awesome post, full of truth, about how relationships are at the crux of every successful and effective ministry that is chasing the heart of Jesus. We thought it would be fitting to tag that post with a few effective tactics that we’ve used on my campus to foster relationships.
When I started advising the BASIC group at SUNY Oneonta, I obliviously assumed that everyone would come to our large group meetings, become best friends all on their own, and live happily ever after. I was totally wrong. We’d have these amazing meetings every week, full of the presence of God, but as soon as the meeting was over, the students darted out of the door with little regard of who else was in the room. I couldn’t quite place what seemed missing. While I personally was working on maintaining as many relationships as I could, I wasn’t creating a culture on my campus that valued spending time with each other. It sadly became all about showing up to an event, and continuing on with life.
Two years later, I couldn’t be more happy with how God has been working through relationships in my ministry. I’ve seen unexpected lifelong relationships formed. I’ve watched a community of believers love each other, with no regard of social ‘norms.’ I’ve seen tremendous healing happen as members of this family seek and grant forgiveness. I’ve seen a generation of college students join a movement together in pursuit of our God. Now, let me practically share a few things we’ve instituted in that two year gap to promote this culture of relationship.
Friday Night Hangouts.
Last year, in an effort to promote a deeper fellowship aspect in our ministry, we instituted “Friday Night Hangouts.” It’s literally what it sounds like. Every Friday night we would come up with a fun activity at different locations on and off campus and invite everybody to come hang out. This activity, while extremely simple to set up, became extremely instrumental in our relationship culture. Deep friendships were initiated as people simply hung out together; eating and playing games. This has become a favorite element of our ministry among the students!
Home Group Bible Study.
Also last year, I was approached by a remarkable trio of college guys (two of which are currently my interns). They had a vision to open up their apartment every week to have a few people over, eat cookies, and discuss God. That group grew to over 20 people, who every week, would drive 15 minutes to the “Three Amigos’” bible study, where they talked about the honest pains and triumphs of living as a Christian on campus. This group is still going strong. What a simple, biblically rooted concept to promote relationships!
Appointments.
One of the most effective ways for us to build relationships with students is to simply make coffee appointments with them. I try to have at least two one-on-one appointments with students each week. This doesn’t have to be that intense. Just find some common ground, and let the conversation happen naturally. I’ll usually ask some questions like, “so how did you hear about BASIC?” or “how can I be praying for you?” to get a spiritual gauge on the student to determine how I can best serve them. This is honestly my favorite part of ministry. It’s always a total win.
If you don’t have systems like these in place, I’d encourage you to go ahead and try them out. None of them take much effort, but if you still can’t find the time, I bet you have some students who would love to throw some events together, or open their house for a bible study. You could also encourage your students to make appointments with other students (this is a requirement for my student leadership team). However you try to do it, invest in the idea of integrating a relationship culture in your ministry!
